London transport. Sigh.

When we arrived at St Pancras from Brussels, it should have been a simple case of hopping a tube home, with only one change of station. However as we navigated the tunnels of St Pancras, it became apparent that there were some issues with the westbound lines. Not one train was leaving from or arriving into Paddington. Not one. Something about power, or leaves, or snow or something. It didn’t matter the reason, Paddington was crucial to our journey. It just mattered that we couldn’t get home.

‘We’re screwed,’ said Don.

We brainstormed our options – hire a car? Book a hotel room? Go back to Brussels? In the end we just tried to head west as best we could until we couldn’t head west any further.

We went from St. Pancras to Farringdon to Paddington to Oxford Circus to Piccadilly Circus to Heathrow. We used five different lines and somehow went through Edgeware Road and Baker Street three times each.

It had taken us only two hours to get from Brussels to London, but three and a half hours to get from the centre of London to the edge of London.

Yesterday we were to head to Richmond to visit our friend Lucy – one tube ride plus one bus ride. Until our tube was delayed, sitting a tantalising one stop away from us, and then cancelled altogether. And then the next one was cancelled. And then the whole line into Paddington was cancelled.

‘We’re screwed,’ said Don.

We went home to regroup and to consult with Tim, the oracle of London public transport. He suggested the 702, a coach, doesn’t come very often but should do the job.

‘It’s a bit of a walk,’ he said, ‘but it’ll get you into the heart of London.’

And off we went again.

‘There might be a few people on this bus if all of the trains are cancelled,’ I said, about 30 seconds before said bus sailed past us, a sign on the windscreen proclaiming ‘Bus full.’

‘We’re screwed,’ said Don.

We started back home but then had a thought – the 81, Don’s most hated bus. Stops constantly, takes forever, but should get us to a working tube line. And there was one in six minutes. So back we headed to the bus stop.

As we turned the corner, we saw the back end of the 81 as it departed the bus stop. We stood and watched in disbelief as it disappeared.

And then it started raining.

We really were screwed. We abandoned all hope and trudged back home in the rain.

London transport. Sigh.